Healing Shame

A Workshop for Understanding and Healing the Hurts, Angers and Destructive Behaviors of Growing Up in a Shame-Based Family

Shame is the unrelenting feeling of being "not wanted" and of being not worthy of being wanted. Shame is experienced whenever what you believe to be your "worthless," "inadequate," "bad" self is threatened with being exposed and you feel in danger of being humiliated and rejected by others.

Shame develops in childhood. If you--not your actions--were labeled as "bad," "wrong," and "not deserving" by your parents or other caregivers, you grew up in a shame-based family. You then began to think of yourself as different from others and not unacceptable. As a child you did not know how you were different and unacceptable, you only believed, deep within you, that it was true.

The consequences of shame for an adult are so toxic, so debilitating, that shame may well be your most destructive emotion. You may perceive that you are separated from your real self and from others. You may have a feeling of disconnection and "floating." You may suffer from depression. You may hold tightly to your image and "pretend" that you are like other people, that you are OK. If you have not dealt with your shame, you will constantly strive to prove that you are as good as others--and never succeed.

The wounds of shame can be healed. You are not condemned by your past to suffer again and again the pains and handicaps of your beginnings. By uncovering and facing the shame-abuse ordeals of childhood, by developing ways to undo and reframe and defuse these early traumas, and by learning to create a web of supportive relationships, you can become freer of the burdens of your shame-based history than you had dared hope.

In this workshop you will have opportunity to...

  • Access and confront your shame experiences
  • Recognize how your shame was created in your shame-bound family and that it is not your fault
  • Understand how shame fosters depression and anxiety
  • Discover the debilitating effects of shame on your relationships
  • Distinguish between guilt and shame and between healthy shame and toxic shame
  • Accept the realities of your shame history and transform them into empathy and wisdom
  • Experience processes for undoing shame that you can incorporate into your life

Dates to be announced.